Facade
by Foxissofoxy
Summary: (AU Possible OOC) Rick learns he has to make a choice to live and to do so he has to remove his mask. (infidelity warning, Please skip or Proceed with Caution)
1. Chapter 1

"I was like a chocolate in a box, looking well behaved and perfect in place, all the while harboring a secret center."  
― Deb Caletti, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart

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My marriage to Lori had all the appearances of a solid marriage. She was a woman struggling with a disease that wreaked havoc and I the dutiful husband, was tired. I was ready for the charade to be over. I didn't care if that meant I would be alone and Lori had custody of Carl. I was tired of being tired. I don't think anyone can really understand that feeling until they have walked in my shoes. Shoes well worn but uncomfortable still. There was no peace in my mind. Thoughts. Constant thoughts. I had no peace in my soul. Cards were falling at my feet because I was letting go and the first sign was when I handed Lori my paystubs and tax returns. I say the gig was up. I anticipated the ending was going to be my beginning.

I didn't blame Lori. I blamed her cancer. Cancer caused us to be unbalanced. Her needs superceded EVERYTHING. For years her cancer permeated the house in which we lived and how we lived our lives. The dynamics changed. I was there for Lori as our vows were taken very seriously, in sickness and in health. I ignored my needs for so long I forgot I had any.

Lori was sick alot. At least off and on since Carl was eight years old. The cancer had put a strain on our marriage. I was expected to leave my job every day take care of the house, take care of Carl, take care of Lori regardless if she was too sickly because she carried the cancer card. I did it without complaint but through the years it wore me down.

People constantly told me I was a good guy. I was such a wonderful husband to take care of my wife. How I must be so in love with Lori. Family, friends, outsiders expected me to play the dutiful husband and father who's wife could die at any moment. Lori didn't die. I waited on her hand and foot through the sickness and now that she is in remission, nothing has changed. I am still doing _everything_.

I thought things would be better but it never happened. I didn't press Lori to cook, clean, or take care of Carl because at least she was healthy enough to go to work. What she did at work was still a mystery to me but she did go. She still had a job waiting for her.

I didn't press her for sex. She made it known she wasn't interested due to the medication and that it had taken away her sex drive. Where did that leave me? She wouldn't even give me a hand job and if she did it was a lazy one. Heaven forbid to put it in her mouth.

I wasn't allowed to be selfish. I wasn't permitted to have needs. Cancer took over our lives. It may no longer be an issue with Lori. _She was in remission_. Everthing that needed to be said but wasn't, became the Cyst, well hidden behind closed doors. The secret I held from her was the tumor. It was growing and spreading. I no longer wanted to contain it... I no longer had the energy to continue to work, come home, take care of Lori when she was too sick or wasn't, take care of Carl, take care of the chores around the house to only do the same thing over again. I wasn't getting any younger. I wasn't becoming any happier.

There were more times **_I_** wanted to just die. I hoped more days than not to just wake up dead. Ridiculous thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking so I drank.

Whiskey was my drink of choice. Every night after Lori's remission I had to have a drink. Sometimes I had a glass and would sip. When my nerves were real bad I would knock back four shots. Gulp, gulp, gulp, and gulp. I had to get the edge off. Three years. Three and a half to be exact.

Carl had his driver's license and pretty much was self sufficient. He was getting good grades and had a part-time job at Herschel Market. He was 16 years old, our only child. Lori didn't want Carl to know she was battling cancer at first but when she started losing weight and her hair...it was hard on him. He was definitely resilient.

Lori was still a supervisor at Go Stop Insurance. Her cancer was diagnoised a year after she started and luckily the company had superior health benefits and were flexible. Lori had been with the company eight years. She was off and on with remission and this time around she was three years. Lori was practically making more money than me. She was hoping for a promotion that would have meant forty thousand more dollars in our household but that didn't pan out. Go Stop Insurance hired a woman who worked in their centralized hub. This woman with all the credentials was chose over Lori. Her name was Michonne. Michonne Benton.

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A/N: Infidelity: I will be posting a new one without infidelity. Hopefully a good discussion can come from this regarding how long is too long to sacrifice needs and desires or because one is married is a til death do we part kind of thing supersedes it all?


	2. Chapter 2

"The truth has not so much set us free as it has ripped away a carefully constructed façade, leaving us naked to begin again."  
― Lisa Unger

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I did not lie. I did not cheat. But I became a liar and a cheater in the last three and a half years of our marriage. I was a man who used to love someone but the facade was falling apart. I still fucking loved that someone. It may have taken over three years for me to get the balls and my shit together but I fucking love her.

The more I talked at the Families Dealing with Cancer group the more of the real me I revealed and I wasn't judged for feeling resentment. I had a group that listened to me and shared the same feelings and how to deal with changes. I unburden myself there because I couldn't find anyone else in my life that would understand exactly how I felt without calling me a selfish prick.

I was frustrated. Slightly buzzed when Lori approached me yet again for my tax return and three recent paystubs. I was drinking more than usual because I knew Lori was going to harass the hell out of me. We were down to the wire for the pre-approval to remain valid for the home loan with the perfect interest rate. Lori was obsessed with moving to Alexandria Estates. I gave her excuse after excuse to stay planted where we were but she was hell bent.

Lori and I have been filing our taxes married but filing seperate. It was the advice I got from Abe who prepared tax returns once a year as a side hustle. He was the only one who knew my dilemma. Lori was hesitant doing our taxes that way but eventually she conceded when she had no choice, I had already filed married filing seperate.

"I don't understand why you took so long to hand this stuff over Rick. I am so glad that Jessie was nice enough to come by. As a loan officer, house visits are not in her job description." Lori remarked.

I was in the kitchen asking Lori to look at what I was handing to her but she wouldn't.

"You are finally giving me your paystubs and tax returns. It's for Jessie to look at not me."

She went into the living-room and gave my documents to Jessie who looked them over.

Jessie had a look of relief to have the infomation that we were lacking to get the home loan approved.

I was holding my breath as the expression on Jessie's face turned from satisfaction to surprise, "How long you've been paying child support, Rick?"


	3. Chapter 3

"All facades fall sometime, then the mask comes off and the real heart is seen."  
― Jessiqua Wittman, A Memoir of Mercy

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I know, I should have left 10 minutes earlier if I didn't want to be late for my first day on the job.

I moved to Kings County soon after my promotion. I was excited and purchased a Black Corvette as a gift to myself. I had signed the lease for a really nice apartment. I was ready to begin my life in the new area that seemed a good enough place as any.

I was single. I didn't have any children even though I loved children. I wasn't surprised I got the promotion though. I worked hard for it. Never took time off. No vacation. Go Stop Insurance was my Life since I was 20 years old. I have been with the company for twelve years.

I didn't have time to nurture relationships so I spent a lot of time alone pretending I didn't need a man. Pretending that the years since I had one didn't phase me. I had a close relationship with Andrea who worked in the same Hub and rumors began to swirl about her and I. We were touchy feely with each other but Lesbians we were not. Andrea found it funny. I was annoyed.

I tried not to scowl a lot. I didn't want to seem like the angry black woman so I made it my goal to walk around with a silly grin on my face unless something really pissed me off...The scowl prevented me from promotions in the beginning. I hated when my name was mispronounced. My name is Michonne, not Meshawn. I couldn't help from scowling.

Men found me intimidating. When the lesbian rumors started the executives became more accommodating. Andrea and I played the role to ease their conscience since they wanted to be more conscientious in their hiring practices.

Men in the company didn't ask me out because they really thought I was a lesbian. I had to move. Andrea wasn't happy about it but she was a damper on my sex life.

Today was going to be a good day. I was dressed real nice. I just touched up my lips. I had cleavage but still looked professional. Pencil skirt...

I was pulled over for speeding. The deputy sheriff was handsome. He had a nice smile. Nice teeth. His skin looked smooth. He smelled of aftershave. I noticed the way his hands were on his hip, his gun belt and the plain wedding band that adorned his left hand ring finger. I flirted with him. I flirted with him and it caught him off guard at first. The way he was looking in his uniform was very right. In other words I was going to try to flirt my ass out of a ticket.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"So you can take a long look at me like you are doing right now." He was checking me out. I had just put on a fresh coat of lip gloss and the right amount of cleavage and leg. If this shit didn't work I was screwed. I would have to take time off to fight this in court.

He was turning red. I embarrassed him.

"Do you like what you see?" I asked again. Brazen.

"From where I am standing I'm intrigued how you are handling a car like this."

"Just like I would handle my man."

"How so?"

"I rev the engine. I like how I can get a stick to cooperate. The older ones took some adjusting but the newer models are easy. I prefer older especially if I can still get them from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds." I wasn't really referring to the older versus the newer model corvette stick shifts.

"Is that what you do to your man? Tease?"

"If I had one, but I see you are taken.

"If I wasn't?"

"Then I would give you a test drive."

"Is that so?"

"A man in a uniform is hard to resist."

"Resisting would not be advised."

"Out of uniform I don't think we would have a problem, officer."

"Registration and License, please."

The sexy motherfucker gave me a ticket and his damn phone number. I don't know why he thought I was going to call his ass.

The new office I was working in was huge. It was hard to keep names and faces straight but one woman behind her back was referred to as the Cancer lady. I had only spoken to her to get reports of employees and evaluations. She always appeared sickly after she was referred as the name given because I thought she may have been just your everyday anorexic, want to be chic and not eat.

I went to court to fight the ticket. He was there. Rick Grimes. I learned his name. He was even more good looking with his face clean shaven the way it was. Fresh.

The judge wanted to know if I was going as fast as I was clocked, and why didn't Deputy Grimes arrest me. He told the Judge that he was having issue with the radar and it was possible that I wasn't over the 20 miles an hour. I could have been well within the speed limit when his Radar clocked a slow moving vehicle as if it was going over the speed limit. The Judge looked at Rick like he had two heads.

I stood there ready to present my case when it was dismissed. My speeding ticket was thrown out.

I still had his phone number. I don't know why I still had it but I did. I called him to thank him. He was surprised that I called. Something about the ease of the conversation and the way he said my name.

We went down the rabbit hole together. Whenever we saw each other we flirted. It would just be a look we would give each other. Eyes in the coffee shop. The lick of the lips at the end of the grocery store aisle and I was at the other end. Random text in the middle of the night. He was sexy to me and when I eventually found out who his wife was I went from warm to cold. It was at the Christmas Party at Go Stop Insurance. Lori stepped inside with Rick.

I received a text later that night. I wasn't planning on responding but I caved.

Rick: Why are you ignoring me?

Michonne: Because

Rick: I don't want to stop

Miconne: We need to stop.

Rick: I miss u

Michonne: I'm her boss Rick.


	4. Chapter 4

Enlightenment is a destructive process. It  
has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the  
crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing  
through the façade of pretense. It's the  
complete eradication of everything we  
imagined to be true.

Adyashanti

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Jessie quickly left out of our home after fumbling over what her intentions were in bringing this information out in the open, on the application I didn't once indicate child support. So it was never factored. It meant less income for the amount of home Lori had her eyes on.

It was the reason for filing our taxes separately. I was concealing that information from her.

This I reminded myself will be the revealing, mask taken off.

"I knew you were having an affair Rick. What I didn't know was that you fathered a child from it."

"Twins. Abigail and Judith. They are three years old." I wanted to be completely honest with Lori.

Lori was silent. Unmoving. I wasn't sure what she was thinking or how she was processing what I was telling her. I needed to unburden myself because I have been without my girls two months too long. I had no idea where Michonne ran off too and she promised me she would not run off with the girls. She respected that I had rights. Rights she knew I wouldn't exercise fully unless I exposed myself to Lori for the imposter I become in my own home.

"When we started out it wasn't anything serious. I mean, not at first it wasn't. I had this need that wasn't getting met here, so I had it met elsewhere." I had no idea why I said that last part to Lori and I half expected her to spit something out but she was silent. The silence was making the whole thing in my head that I practice seem so out of place because she wasn't following a script. She wasn't following the script I had in my head. "Are you going to say anything?"

"I am waiting for you to finish." Lori replied.

"I need to know what you are thinking?" I stood before Lori not sure how naked I should become. How much she was really ready for me to reveal to her.

"I am thinking when are you going to finish."

"You knew I was having an affair why didn't you say anything? Something?"

"Because I wanted to see how much you would lie. I wanted to see what great lengths you would go to deceive and trust me Rick you went to very great lengths."

"I still don't understand why you didn't say anything?"

"Would it have mattered?"

Now I was silent. Unmoving as I listened.

"You smelled of her when you came home to me. You didn't even have the decency to shower most times. You wreaked of her. You were no longer the man I married. You were distracted, annoyed, angry, and a fucking perv. I saw you masturbating in the living room when you thought I was asleep. You were talking to her on the phone! Not your first phone sex session that I crept up on. The constant texting. Taking your phone every fucking where with a lock code. Coming home late, a few times you came in before the crack of dawn. I may have cancer but I still have common sense and more decency then you ever will."

There it was, I was waiting with abated breath for Cancer to be somewhere in Lori's monologue.

"I can't continue a marriage with such deception Rick. I need you to leave."

I heard my dismissal and took it that I did not need to provide any further admission nor omission. I didn't have to admit who the woman was and I didn't have to tell Lori that I did love the other woman. I wasn't going to fight the divorce nor was I going to prolong it.

I walked into the bedroom and packed my bags. I took off my wedding band and placed it in the dish that was on the dresser.

"So it's that easy for you Rick? It's that easy to walk out on me when I have cancer?"

There it was again. I _needed_ to leave. I needed the tumor that metastasized before my very eyes removed quickly when realized I was the walking tumor. I couldn't do this any more with Lori. I was at my breaking point in that moment. I was shattering in a thousand pieces. Me leaving the home was going to be my cure. I wanted to live. I knew right then Lori was trying to kill us both. My happiness did not hinge with hers it hinged with a woman who wasn't answering my calls. Who wasn't responding to my text and I had no fucking idea if my girls were okay.

"You are really trying to sabotage my chances at promotion by springing this shit on me Rick. The job that I wanted opened up two months ago. The job they filled three and a half years ago could possibly be mine. I have a third interview and now this shit?"

I paused my packing wondering if Lori knew all along who the other woman was. Her eyes were pleading taking my hesitation as a reconsideration.

"Lori, did you just forget what you just said in the other room?" I was dumbfounded. "I am still that man. Nothing has changed. You described me to a T. I would not shower because I still wanted to smell her on me. I stopped being your husband the moment I couldn't stop being with her and not because you would have told me to stop but because I didn't want to stop. I was distracted because I wanted to be with her and I still fucking do. I am annoyed to come home to the constant load that never seems to lighten up for me Lori and it makes me angry that it has got to the point where it is expected. So me becoming a perv that would be exactly as you would see things from your perspective. You never could see me as a man who had fucking needs that didn't center around you. I needed intimacy with sex. I needed to be touched that included ejaculating in a hand , mouth and or vagina...and don't get to freaky and speak of another area where it could be done. Sometimes that was all I needed and then maybe I wouldn't resent all the shit that is on my shoulders to do. I didn't need a pat on the back I needed SEX and I was finally able to get it and eventually it became more and then she got pregnant. I was there for their birth and I plan to be there when they graduate college and get married. I am going to have to do a lot of fucking groveling and ass kissing before she will even acknowledge that I am in the same damn room with her but I am ready to do it. I plan to make it up to this woman that I kept on the back burner because I thought I was suffering from cancer too."

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A/N: I wanted to take Rick to a place where he actually went there with his wife. He told her exactly how it was for him and for us readers to know what his struggles were as he dealt with his infidelity. Sometimes as women we ask for details but do we really want to know? That is the question I am asking. I guess from this glimpse of Rick.


	5. Chapter 5

""Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey.

At other times, it is allowing another to take yours."  
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

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I'd never been with anyone like Rick.

It was a long drought for me and I took what we were doing as two people who needed a sexual outlet. It was freeing to have such an arrangement because he didn't expect me to be any particular way and I didn't expect him to be any certain way. I was a woman and he was a man.

I didn't want to know his personal story and he didn't offer it. He didn't ask about my life and I didn't volunteer it. He had what I wanted and I had what he needed.

The more we were together the more vulnerable I became. I know it is strange to say this but I have never allowed myself to become vulnerable with anyone before him. There were certain sexual positions that I was comfortable with and the same with him. I wasn't as experienced with sex like I would flirt that I was and it was refreshing to be with someone who was equally curious how a certain position would feel or if we could even get off on it.

Rick never had a blow job before. I wasn't even sure if I was good at providing one. I just wasn't sure if I was good at it at all to be honest. He enjoyed it immensely which I found to be such a turn on to me. His reaction to me preforming this sexual act was such a turn on, that I could easily orgasm just knowing he was about to climax. I never had that happened to me before.

I never tried anal but I wanted to with him. The more I kept him aimed the more he was shocked on what I was asking him to do.

"Michonne, are you sure?"

"Yes, baby. I need you to do it to me right in there. Please do it to me." I couldn't believe I was asking him wanting him to do it to me in that particular spot. That part of my body was virgin territory and I was always curious. I was so aroused and not in my right frame of mind because Rick was pretty long and thick compared to what I imagined.

His dick was already well lubed by being in my pussy. It seemed like the whole thought made him even more harder if that was possible. As he began I tensed.

"Take it real slow baby." My breathing hitched as I felt him

He did go very slow, until my ass was so full of him my pussy squirted. I shivered. I couldn't believe I was able to orgasm so quick as he was behind me still, not moving but breathing heavy as he hissed.

"Got damn this is tight. Oh my fucking God Michonne. I don't know if I can go slow once I start. And you're making that sound too..."

He was rubbing my ass and my back as I was on all fours with him mounted and ready to take off exploring this tighter than tight sensation that began to relax and expand for his size as he slowly pulled himself out half way and back in until he was comfortable that I was comfortable.

"Michonne, I am not going to last long at all."

"It's okay, just fuck me."

It hurt. I am not going to lie, but it felt damn good at the same time. Rick quickly found his release as he cupped my breast and plunged with so much force we both screamed. I came again.

Within time we new what we liked and how we liked it. We liked having sex with each other.

Sometimes he showered afterwards at my place and left for work or home. He never kissed me when he was going to leave, until the day things slowly began to change between us. I think it started with me. I began to prevent him from leaving my bed and the first time startled him. I knew it did based on the look he gave me.

His brow arched and he wore a half smile, "You want some more?" Rick asked me.

I let his hand go, "No."

I had no idea why I reached out to him like that and I was slightly angry with myself when I did it, but ended up doing it again and again, each time after sex.

Rick finally asked me after a few times of taking his hand, "Do you want more sex or you don't want me to go?"

"I don't want you to go." I was honest with him. My honesty gave clarification that it was no longer a sexual thing for me.

Something changed in Rick in that very moment. I am sure of it because, the amusement left his face and he just stared at me, like he was stumped by what was going on between us. He held my hand. I didn't let go of his while he stood on the side of my bed where I had reached out to him, still naked.


	6. Chapter 6

"Nothing in this world compares to the comfort and security of having someone just hold your hand."  
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year

xxxxxx

It wasn't just sex between us. I asked her if it _was_ just sex _or_ she didn't want me to go?

Her response had my heart missing from my chest. I don't think she realized when I squeezed her hand and by her squeezing back, I was offering her my heart. I knew that if we were to continue with our very vague acknowledgement that we were becoming increasingly more to each other, there would be a point of no return for us.

In the beginning, Michonne gave me the release I needed. I had a lot of pent up sexual frustration. I had no idea when I would stop seeing Michonne intimately because I was craving her body after being satisfied just hours ago in the day or night by her. I knew the day would have to come where I would be expected to stop, but I knew it wouldn't be before Lori's remission.

Having sex helped me to go home to Lori and take care of the things that I needed to take care of with a clear mind. Then Michonne got under my skin with confusing me with grabbing my hand when I would leave her bed. I was really confused by it. I thought about it while I was at work and at home. I thought about what it meant and what it meant to me. I wasn't sure of Michonne's thought processes but I knew she was someone that was sexually my match even before Lori was diagnosed with Cancer. Michonne and I were sexually compatible.

Lori was in remission and I still couldn't stop the shit I was doing with Michonne. I waited with abated breath for Michonne to tell me her schedule or she would ask me for mine so I anticipated spending all my free minutes with Michonne.

I did get very careless and Michonne was pregnant. Pregnant with twins. The pregnancy was my introduction to Michonne. The honeymoon period between us was officially over. Michonne was vocal, hormonal and just plain nutty. She found out with the pregnancy she was a high risk.

"How many books do you need, Michonne?"

"I need every book I can get my hands on to tell me what to expect. I have never been pregnant before Rick."

"I don't think it is as bad as you are getting yourself riled up about."

"How many times you been pregnant, Rick?"

I didn't respond to Michonne as I handed her the bag of books she tasked me to purchase from the bookstore. She was propped up on the living room couch rubbing her belly and repositioning the furry throw across her bare legs.

"Reason I don't have tattoos. I can't gauge the pain. Each person threshold is different you know." Michonne said as a matter of fact.

"What did the doctor tell you Michonne?" I noticed her kitchen was back to spotless.

"To stay off my feet but I can't have a dirty kitchen Rick."

"I was coming to help."

"I can't have you do that Rick. I have money saved and I plan to hire someone to come and take care of stuff like that. I didn't want to at first. I don't like strangers in my space but I have to get over it."

"Good. I wish I would have thought of something like that with Lori."

"Lori?"

I had lost my damn mind in that moment to mention Lori around Michonne who was pissed off that she wasn't even in her new position a year and she was knocked up by a married man who's wife was sick. She threw a book at me and missed.

This wasn't unusual for us to be off and on. Hot and cold. We were extreme with it and the shit carried over to my home causing me to be distracted, annoyed, angry and sexually frustrated.

We did this shit for three years practically. She was the woman I use to love, I would tell my self as I drank myself in to oblivion, knowing full fucking well she was the woman I loved. I was madly and crazy in love with Michonne.

She made me pay child support because she was pissed off with me. I had to scramble to ensure Lori didn't find out since according to Lori her remission did not mean she couldn't die at any moment if I wasn't at her beckon call.

Sometimes I wondered if Lori was playing with me. The more time I spent trying to juggle Michonne the more Lori had a slight ailment or fever.

I had no idea how to leave a woman with cancer until Michonne officially left Kings County with Abigail and Judith. Michonne was pregnant again and she was livid and I knew she devised a plan to sever ties with me and our Karma.

I was ready to take my chances with Karma any day to be with Michonne than to endure another moment with a woman I didn't recognize at all because the man I became wasn't the man that could see her any more.

I made the decision to give my tax returns and paystubs to Lori for her to review, to cut through the chase. I felt absolved somehow when Lori made the decision that I should leave even though she doubted her self seconds later.

My goal was to find Michonne, the woman I used to love and now I loved absolute.


	7. Chapter 7

"... but I could also write about love. How a hand can silence thousands of voices and how someone's smell can make you feel at home even though you're a million miles away from  
home  
and have you ever hurt someone you love? Because you're angry. Because you're disappointed and sad and you just really wanted to love and be loved in return  
but life got in the way and you both said things that should never be said and you're angry but don't know how to. Because you still feel this strange love for him, but you're also fucking angry and you want to hit him, but then hug him because hurting him is hurting yourself, and then hit him again because you're angry! and so you fall on your knees because you're hopeless to yourself and your own emotions  
and that's love, my friend."  
― Charlotte Eriksson

XXXXXX

My blood was boiling and I knew once this baby was born, if it wasn't going to be the death of me, I was going to get my tubes tied and burned to ashes. I was on the pill. Rick was using condoms. I still got fucking pregnant. The doctor reassured me that if I followed his advice that I could have a successful pregnancy but I shouldn't press my luck with any more.

For the life of me I have no idea what Rick and I were doing. We were hot and cold. We weren't the same temperature but it was extreme with us.

He got mad at me because I wanted to date other people to move on because the Karma we would experience based on our bullshit was going to be a whirlwind, Tsunami or Tornado.

I had to quit him and then he would have the audacity to quit me to only show up at my door the next day wanting to see his babies. I didn't want to keep fucking around with Rick but he kept fucking around with me.

"Hey, where the hell you going Rick, the babies aren't in the bathroom."

"Judith and Abigail are asleep. I am going to take a shower. You more than welcome to join me."

"Didn't you quit me just yesterday Rick?" I watched him walk in the bathroom leaving the door wide open as he undressed, putting his clothes in the hamper before he stepped in the shower.

"I quit you yesterday. I am back today. New day."

"You think I am that easy Rick? That you can just walk in and out of my life and I just take you back?" I found myself undressing.

"You know what this is between us Michonne."

I watched him lather up his skin. He was completely aroused. His dick was at attention and he knew that was my damn weakness as I felt myself tingle down below at the sight of him.

His back was to me as I climbed in right behind and jerked him off in the shower. My pelvic rubbing against his ass caused me to cum. He is the only one that can get me off without penetration and I was mesmerized by it.

He kept spare clothes at my place and I kept forgetting to toss them out or burn them to help with keeping Karma at bay.

I asked for a relocation back to Atlanta and got it. Andrea was excited to know that I would be back in cahoots with her in the hub. I put in for FMLA based on the doctors recommendations and was approved. Things were working out smoothly. I just didn't know how badly I was going to miss Rick until the girls kept asking for their daddy in the night.

I began to doubt if I made the right decision to just up and leave. I changed my number too. I knew Rick was going to be pissed when he realize I was no longer in King's County.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I love the discussions that are happening with Façade. LOVE IT. I do want to say if you are new to my writing style...halt. I do time jumps without specifying. If I was a better writer I guess I wouldn't have to tell you that...lol. If you read carefully you should be able to ascertain what is in the future or what is currently happening versus the past, IF you follow the flow of how pieces to the jigsaw puzzle is bringing together the bigger picture. The bigger picture is always Richonne, Rick and Michonne. The pieces are what displays actions, thoughts, perspective. If you don't want to halt...Proceed with Caution.

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"I am looking for the one I can't fool."  
― Kamand Kojouri

XXXX

When I left the house the sun was out, kids were running up and down the sidewalk, riding bikes, carefree. I didn't have that carefree feeling but I could definitely say it wasn't anything close to _regret_ for officially leaving my home to start anew.

I knew I had to get Michonne back. We never quit each other like this before and I refused to believe that her mind was made up and if it was, I was going to go to my grave trying to help her un-change it.

I knew a couple of ways to get her back in bed with me, but she would have to beg me for that, taking my girls like she lost her damn mind. I say, I can go without sex with Michonne until we establish some ground rules.

I could have went to family or friends but I wasn't ready for people to know what was going on and if Lori wanted to get everyone on the side of cancer she could go on ahead. It was her right as a cancer survivor to bring awareness to other ways cancer can ravage beyond repair, not just the body, but also marriages.

"Tell the truth and shame the devil."

I had no idea who this little black woman was with silver hair and milky eyes. She was at the front desk dressed like it was still 1965 in a polyester suit with a scarf around her neck. I was in the motel lobby waiting for her to count my change and give me the room key.

"Anybody with eyes can see you a married man with that tan mark on your finger. Who ever is meeting up with you in this dump can't be about much. Ain't nothing worse than rubbing two pennies together because neither one of you got a dime."

I had to say this old woman had me befuddled and suprisingly candid, "I am not meeting up with anyone. This is a temporary stay for a couple of days perhaps."

"Wife put you out?"

"Karma enticed me out the door." I thought my random vagueness would turn the old woman off and she would hand me the key card to the room I paid for in cash.

"You don't look like you going to turn back."

"I can't say I will. It is not my plan."

"Where she taking you too...this Karma?"

I wasn't quite sure how her and I were using the word _Karma_ , I just went along with based on how I was referring.

"I have a gut feeling somewhere in Atlanta. I will know for sure when I get a phone call that I have been waiting for. If that is where my Karma is, then that is where I will be."

"So...if Karma says go west young man you would be headed West, huh?"

"I would have to say so."

" _That_ you describing ain't Karma but love, young man. Who ever you lovin got you in such a way you will follow like a love sick puppy. You got those puppy eyes."

"You think my eyes will work to get her to change her mind?"

"Well, what is this Karma like?"

"Two baby girls, Three years old, twins and a new one on the way. The mother is a firecracker. I am not sure my eyes will work on her though."

"Well, both of you can't be long fuses, cause then you wait a round and take shit and take shit before you explode. One of you two got to be ready to set shit off. Keep things balanced. _Same_ don't help with nothing because you might as well be by yourself if you are too much alike."

"I guess I am at the end of my long fuse."

"Three damn years for you to get up and do something I would hope so."

"It is so."

"I hope you don't go on bended knee begging ain't nothing worse than that. Be a man. Demand shit. Hell! We firecrackers like that shit. You will have them putty I tell you, P.U.T.T.Y. Be ready to set shit on fire."

I was stunned at this idea. I never thought to approach Michonne in such a way. I was prepared to beg.

"You think she will take me back?"

"Only if you ready to claim her. A woman like your Karma that was all she ever wanted was for you to stake your claim. Most women ain't got time to be a waiting on a no count man and I say three years she was overdue to move the hell on but if she bringing another of your seeds to fruition I say as long as you ain't no dead beat, wife beater, you will always have a chance. If not with her, with me."

I couldn't help but smile at the old woman whose voice was as sobering as a cup of hot cocoa on a cold morning.

'God's plan is so mysterious." The old woman smiled back at me and winked.

"I would have to agree with that."

"I always say that Karma come in different forms. It ain't always get hit by a bus the moment you try to cross the street. I say sometimes Karma has fun making people endure things, hoping they forget things, like not getting their change back."

This woman owed me eighteen dollars and I was about to say something when the owner of the motel came out the back room. I knew him, his name was Morgan Alexander.

"Mama Mabel what you doing out here? You know you're not suppose to be out here hustling folks out their money. Now how much you owe this gentleman?"

"I think I gave the man some valuable advice. I am quite sure it was worth more than the change he's expecting back."


	9. Chapter 9

"People love the facade of a perfect relationship because perfection seems alluring. What they don't realize is perfection is terrifying."  
― Dominic Riccitello

XXXXX

My hormones were off the charts with this second go around. I couldn't stand myself when I finally became balanced and then I was off the charts again. Rick had no way of knowing which way was up or down, so he quit me that day I called him a punk bastard. I was in every direction and drove him away. He didn't come back the next day nor the next day. He didn't respond to my phone calls nor my texts. I had my shit packed up. Called my brother Tyrese and headed to Atlanta. I had no time to play around with Rick. He quit me and I was fine with that. More child support I tried to tell myself. I didn't need his money but it was the principle.

I didn't know how to tell him that I needed him to choose me. I knew he loved his girls but down deep I wanted to be chosen by him. I wanted him to want me in a way that he would just say ' _fuck_ _it'_ and come home to me after work and stay through the night. I didn't think I would want it so badly but I did. I wanted to be out in the open with what we were doing. I wanted to tell anyone that cared I had a man and this is who he is even if it was just a picture on my desk.

I did have pictures of Rick on my phone where he was playing with his girls. He was sitting on the floor at their little table pretending to have tea. He was talking to them and they were talking back about how the tea was good. The girls decided their daddy needed to have his hair done and some lip gloss. I snapped several pictures. I even have a picture of Rick in my bed knocked out cold after sex. Without pictures I wouldn't even believe we were real most times.

I was resenting Lori everyday that she would come to work. I was hard on her and I wasn't being fair. I knew then I would have to transfer. My disdain for Lori was evident and visible and I didn't like it. I didn't like that she had what I wanted if I am permitted to be honest. I didn't like the jealous side of me. Jealousy made me dizzy. Not a good sensation when I had to always appear unaffected: Cool, Calm, and Collected. I needed to be in control and I was going to lose my shit if I didn't move a way.

I did like that no one asked too many questions about my first pregnancy. I had pictures of the baby girls in my office and a few would venture to ask to see their photos and remark how beautiful they were. My girls are beautiful. Judith has blue eyes and Abigail has hazel. That was the only way to tell the difference between the two.

I was glad to never have to reveal anything to Lori. She never asked nor did she seem to care. I guess the focus had to remain on her remission and how each day she came to work was a victory. Every group meeting we had she has to make mention of it. I wondered if she knew that would be a reason she would never be promoted higher than what she has achieved. Everyone doesn't need to know your struggles because it only exposes your weaknesses.

My life was not what I had planned nor envisioned. I felt like I was wobbling inside of Go Stop insurance in Atlanta. I felt very pregnant and was pregnant. Five months. My face was fuller and it made it hard to scowl like I wanted.

I was planning on buying the Infiniti QX80 based on my growing family and the borrowed mini-van that I would use on occasion wasn't the business and I hated it with a passion.

The mini-van belonged to my brother Tyrese who had kids but was in between living arrangements so he crashed at my place on the sofa. If I needed to take the girls anywhere I would use his vehicle. Today just happened to be the day that I drove my black Corvette.

I had to trade in my Corvette for something practical and roomy and that day my fucking tires were being slashed by the fucking crazy ass cancer lady. Why she wasn't in King's County but here in Atlanta was beyond my understanding.

"What the fuck are you doing Lori?" I was standing a few feet away from where she was hunched down trying to ram her knife in the third tire.

"Doing what you having been doing behind my back with my husband." She approached with a sharp pocket knife with the handle gripped in her hands."

"I promise you we were fucking but we weren't slashing your tires."

XXXXXXXX


	10. Chapter 10

"One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else."  
― K.L. Toth

XXXXX

I had a friend name Shane who was in Atlanta teaching at the police academy and he also had pull to get me hired. We spoke for a while and he guaranteed me a job whenever I was ready. That was a relief because I was ready. I had already put my notice in at the station.

Carl came by to visit me at the Motel. He didn't avoid the elephant in the room. He wasn't a little kid anymore. We didn't have to protect him from the truth of life.

"Mom said you have another family that you are running off to be with."

"Your mom said that?"

"She is telling practically anyone that would listen."

"Is that so."

"She's sick again."

"Who's taking care of her?"

"Grandma and Grandpa."

"Good."

"Grandpa told her to not fake things because one day it will be for real and no one will believe her."

"Gramps said that?"

"Mom wasn't happy that he was siding with you. Grandma wasn't happy about it either. Mom has cancer you know."

I had no words as we both sat across a small table in the room with a queen bed sharing a pizza and drinking our cokes.

"I have sisters?" He broached the topic again.

"Yeah." I didn't deny it.

"How old?"

"Three years old. Twins. Judith and Abigail." I didn't break eye contact with Carl who looked away first.

"Mom said the person is pregnant again by you."

"Say what?"

"You didn't know?" I did know. I just had no fucking idea how Lori knew.

"How'd your mom know?"

"She had me drive her to Atlanta."

"What the fuck?" Michonne had to be very pregnant at this point.

"She had to go there for an interview. _So_ _she_ _says_. Anyway, she caused a scene in the parking lot of Go Stop Insurance. I had to yell and pull at her to get in the car. She slashed tires to a black Corvette before the confrontation."

I couldn't eat another bite. Pizza to this day I can't bring myself to eat. It reminds me of the day I was told that Lori lost her motherfucking mind.

I knew right then and there I wasn't going to be going to Michonne standing...I would be on my GOD Damn Knees! Fuck.

I had to explain to Glenn the reason for my need to know before he released it to me. He reminded me how he breached this and that regarding the right to privacy. I owed him.

I would have left with the clothes on my back but I had suitcases and three gift wrapped boxes. Gifts for my girls and one for Michonne.

She was in Atlanta in an apartment close to Go Stop Hub. Apartment 142E.

I was on the interstate. Pressed the icon to dial home. Home...funny how that was ironic in that moment. Lori answered on the second ring.

"Hello."

"Carl told me about the stunt you pulled?" I was so angry with Lori.

"I figured."

"Why would you do that?"

"I wanted her to know I knew. I wanted her to see me. Not as her junior employee, but the woman with cancer that had her husband taken right from underneath her."

I hung up on Lori. I really couldn't fuck with Lori. I hated that feeling of my chest being tight. I was done with all that negative fucking energy. I knew I would hear it from Michonne who had no tolerance for bullshit especially public displays of it. It was good that Michonne did not end Lori's life for causing a scene. I could just imagine what Michonne would have replied with. The thoughts made me shiver. Michonne didn't bite her tongue when she was good and mad.

My phone rang it was home. Habit for me to answer quickly when the number showed up. A habit I would soon break now that Carl had his own phone.

"Since when we hang up on each other Rick?" Lori asked me.

"Since the moment you went to Atlanta to stir some shit."

"Let me tell you something...You can never come back home Rick. I will never take you back. You can beg me on my deathbed to forgive you and I won't."

"How did that make you feel...what you just said Lori?"

"Good."

"That feeling is how I would describe what I felt when you told me to leave. When you told me you wanted a divorce. What you're feeling right now Lori is what I am feeling, the difference is you are going to wish I would want to come back to you because I never caused you to feel how you made me feel for years. When you are finally on your deathbed and I wish that is many, many years from now but during that time you may regret what you have put me through and the shit you just said to me. You will ask me to forgive you and I will."

Lori hung up on me and I wasn't about to dial her back.

"Michonne I ain't got time to fight about it." I played with my girls on the living room floor of Michonne's apartment. They just turned three years old. They were trying to comb my hair and put ribbons in it while I sipped pretend tea.

"Whose fighting? We are arguing... if we were fighting you would know it if I throw something at you or slice you up." Michonne face was serious.

"I hope to never make you mad enough to want to fight." I lightly squeezed her foot. Her ankles were swollen and she wasn't even three months pregnant yet. She was pissed still about it but abortion wasn't even in her vocabulary and I was glad to know she wasn't going to do no such thing.

"Then stop fucking mentioning Lori to me. Stop it. If you can't leave because she is sick, I understand. I do. That is why I love you. You take care of business. You handle shit. I like that. I respect it. But I don't want to know. When you come in my apartment, leave Lori out there. When you determine Lori is well enough to handle the news, you tell her. Don't let her stumble upon it and approach me with bullshit. I have a very low tolerance for it Mr. Grimes. I can't promise you what I would do if that happened but I know one thing I would serve Lori her life in a metal pie pan...fucking mess with me."

"I was just saying that Lori has been in remission and I am done waiting around on pins and needles trying to figure out how to tell her, when to tell her, is she healthy enough, would this kill her. I'm trying to tell you that I plan to stop because I want this bad enough and I ain't saying I didn't want this before, I am just saying that, I am tired. Been tired for a long time, Chonne. Believe it or not. Surprise you hung in there as long as you have. If this was a choice I choose..."

"Stop it Rick. The only choice you have is you or your marriage. I don't want to be a factor in that. I don't want our babies to be a factor. You have to choose _you and your sanity_ if things are as toxic as you make them out to be. Am I making sense to you?"

I couldn't respond to her right then because Judith was putting Michonne cherry flavored lip gloss on my lips and telling me how pretty I was. Abigail was handing me a small hand held mirror to look at my hair.

We made love that night. It was incredible how she drove me to madness but yet she was my sanity.

Within a couple of hours of arriving in Atlanta, I found a small motel with a kitchenette. I would not make the mistake of thinking I was living with Michonne when I knew full well if she pulled this type of stunt she had to be pissed. I was prepared to wear her the fuck down but I was not prepared to sleep in the hallway of her apartment building. I know I quit her first and I was adamant with myself that I was done with Michonne but I wasn't. I called her into the second week to find her number had been changed. I had my tax return and paystub dilemma for the house Lori wanted but I would not be moving in if I continued with the charade.

 _She was in Atlanta in an apartment close to Go Stop Hub. Alexandria Commons Apartment 142E._

When I knocked I was surprised to see a big burly black man answer the door in a white wife beater. He was holding Judith and Abigail. I was pissed beyond any level of piss Michonne could ever be. The girls were reaching out to me, crying for me.

"Who the fuck are you?" If he wasn't holding my girls I would have clocked his ass without a second thought. I didn't give a shit he was twice my size.

"You ringing this doorbell and yet you asking who the fuck am I?"

"You got my girls, I would think I was entitled to know who in the hell would have access to my daughters." I was surprised the guy handed the girls over to me because they were squealing and reaching for me. I took them. Relieved that they were okay and just as happy to see me.

"Daddy!" I kissed Judith on her cheek.

"My Daddy!" I kissed Abigail on her cheek.

"Michonne, your baby daddy is here."


	11. Chapter 11

"Every cell in my body was telling me that he was my happily ever after."  
― C.J. English, Affairytale

XXXXX

"Your Baby Daddy at the Door."

I was in shock, but I couldn't let it show. I had different scenarios planned in my head for this moment, but when I was in the moment nothing really mattered like throwing his small box of clothes that I meant to toss away, right in his face as he stood in my open doorway just for dramatics. I wanted to tell him all about Lori and her slashing my damn tires. I wanted to tell him how I told her clean off and I have been burning candles and incense everyday just in case GOD didn't appreciate how ugly I was.

Rick stood there. I missed the fuck out of him. Nothing he could say would keep me away from him or prevent me from trying to work it out. I had no desire to put up another obstacle and the baby growing within me had it's fist or knee pressing on my lower back. I ached something terrible. I was suppose to be on bed rest but could not rest. There was cleaning to be done.

This man doesn't even know that he had me with him standing in the door getting squeezed by his daughters as if he was the next best thing to slice bread. He didn't have to say a word. I would have let him in the apartment without a second thought.

The forcefulness in his voice made me forget what my ground rules were. I was so struck by the sincerity in his eyes and his bowed-leg stance that I knew this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I would certainly fight to keep him. Never in my life had I ever had a man where I was willing to fight for him _and_ alongside him, as long as this struggle remained about us.

I wasn't about to keep placing obstacles where none was beneficial. This was the vulnerability I was talking about. Again, I allowed myself to be vulnerable in seeing all my flaws in his eyes and his willingness to accept it. I hated all the stress I had caused him by picking up and leaving without explanation. He wasn't just anybody to me. He was the man I loved and he deserved better treatment than what my behavior at the time would allow me to provide to him. I was now willing and in my right frame of mind to be the woman he deserved. I was ready to be his better half.

I wasn't a child and I needed to stop acting childish. If I am hurt, speak on it. If I am disappointed, speak on it, If I am in need, let him know and how he responds to my needs determines everything.

XXXXX

"The doctor says you are having twins. What are we going to name them if they are boys?" Rick asked me.

"I love the name Andre, and Jude. What do you think?" I faced Rick in the bed as he caressed my face and along my neck with the back of his fingers.

"I am good with that. But, If they are girls?"

"I like the names, Abigail and Judith. What do you think?"

"I am good with that." Rick was agreeable.

"You don't have an opinion one way or another?" I was surprised.

"I just hope they are healthy and look like you." He smiled at me.

"Don't short change yourself Mr. Handsome."

"Twins. _We_ are having twins..." The ultrasound was on the nightstand behind him as he lay facing me in his boxers. It was like news he still wasn't use to as he said it aloud for what seemed like the 100th time.

"Thank you Rick." I said what seemed like out of the blue. I was so overcome with gratefulness. I couldn't hold it in any longer. From that point on I verbalized it all the time.

"For what?"

"For coming by. Seeing about me. Taking care of things when you don't have to. I appreciate it so much." I began to cry.

"Is this intense hormones?"

"I intensely feel something for you and it scares me." I admitted.

"What is that 'Chonne?"

"I don't know if you feel it too." I was falling hopelessly in love with this man that belong to another.

"This? Between us?" He motioned between him and me.

"Yes." I was almost breathless trying to control a full on sob while Rick tried to brush a way my tears.

"You are all I think about 'Chonne."

"Why? Do you ever wonder why that is?"

"No. I _know_ that I am in love with you...I've just been waiting for you to catch up."

"I am with you Rick." I began to sniffle.

"Baby or no baby... _this_ between _us_ will be, has been, was meant."

XXXX

No doubt he loves Abigail and Judith but there was no doubt in my mind that he loved him some me. Rick loved me and it wasn't just inclusive but exclusive. I knew that and he had his way of reaffirming it. He was there for me. The more I showed appreciation with acknowledging the more eager he was to help or just be helpful.

As much as I pushed him a way and eventually me running away, he kept coming back. I will always want him back. He was done taking a break from me. I was done taking breaks. I wanted to do this with him no matter how good it could be between us but also during the bad and I couldn't imagine anything bad that I wouldn't endure with him.

"Michonne, you sure about this?"

"Yes, Rick. I want you. I missed you."

"What did the doctor say about it?"

"I'll ask him in the morning right now just stick the tip in. Please." I needed him so badly and he knew it didn't take much for me to orgasm. I needed release that I only found with him. I spent months away from him and had to endure his wife slashing my damn tires, I just needed one or maybe two big Os' with a lot of tiny ones in between.

"I can't just stick the tip in Michonne. I rather not do it at all then to hurt you or the baby."

"I have the same condition that I had with Abigail and Judith. You didn't have a problem then, Rick."

"I haven't had you in a couple of months Michonne and I don't know if I can control myself once we get started." Rick's sharp intake of air had literally caused me to have a tiny orgasm.

I held his dick at the entry of my pussy that was wet with anticipation, "Keep doing that." I loved talking through sex most times and Rick's hesitancy was such a turn on.

"I can eat your pussy some more if you want and I love your hand jo..." Rick gasped.

I lifted my hips to catch the tip of Ricks dick. He hissed from the two sensation that seemed to be happening at once with me jerking him off and being at the opening of my pussy doing what drove him crazy with the tip of his dick similar to what I could do with my lips. Suck him in and pop him out.

I have no idea if I am the only woman in the world with a pussy that works like a vacuum for lack of a better way of explaining it. My muscles were strong enough to seem like I was consuming or pushing back out. I have no idea if anyone else can do my kind of pussy pop but...

"How the fuck you do that Michonne?" Rick's eyes rolled in the back of his head as he trembled and strained trying to not climax too quickly. I couldn't help moaning through a big O that raked through my body and had my toes curling.

"Tell me how much you want to eat my pussy baby." I felt insatiable.

"Fuck Michonne, I missed your pussy." Rick went deep as he could as he felt himself at the threshold of losing control, allowing my hand to pump him at the base as his dick was enjoying a different sensation, his mouth hovering over mine as he panted.

"I am glad you come back to me. I won't do it again. Promise you baby. I promise you. I belong to you. Only you." I declared this from the bottom of my heart, from the depth of my soul, in no uncertain terms. I was his. Forever.

XXXX

Rick moved in. He got a job teaching at the Police Academy. He was always happy coming home to us which in turn made us happy to have him all to ourselves. We no longer had to watch the time or dread the hours of the day where he had to run off to be where he was needed. Daddy was home. My man was home.

None of this stopped Lori. I heard through the grapevine that she was sick again. Rick never told me but I could tell when he was down and it was usually after talking to his son, Carl or to Lori. He would steal away to speak in private and my heart would sink to my stomach. Even though I wore the ring he gave me, I was afraid to be so hopeful that one day we _would_ make this thing between us legal.

I didn't want to be paranoid or have doubt but I did. I didn't want to pester him about why he would go in the other room to talk whenever they would call. The girls weren't rowdy and I was trying to remain bedridden.

I heard his side of the conversation and I held my breath as he continued.

"No you listen to me, Lori. These are my girls you are talking about. Mine. I won't have you disrespecting them nor Michonne. You better be happy that is all she did to you. You shouldn't have taken your ass there to slash her fucking tires. She was damn right when she told you we were fucking but we weren't slashing tires. Still fucking...I have to be cold to you Lori because you don't seem to get it. I moved the fuck on and I am frustrated because you are trying to keep me stuck...Yes I plan to marry Michonne and yes she is pregnant again. Yes the math does not change... it will be our third child...Yes, I fucked around on you..."

I was caught. I couldn't make it back to our bedroom in time when he peeked out and saw me.

"What the hell?" He covered the phone as I slowly walked back to our bedroom and closed the bedroom door behind me.

Andre Richard Grimes was born _and_ I had my tubes tied soon after. The divorce was finalized a month after Andres birth. We went to the Justice of the Peace and were quickly and quietly married. A month after that I went for a check up and found out I was pregnant again. Again.

Nothing could prepare me for that. Rick was stunned. I was stunned. How the fuck?

I really think I was Karma's Muse.


	12. Chapter 12

"There's never going to be someone else," he says, shaking his head. "You've wrecked me. I wouldn't be any good to anybody now—except for you."  
― Emm Cole, The Short Life of Sparrows

XXXXXXX

I had no idea who this man was introducing me as Michonne's baby daddy. I stood in the hallway looking in, holding my girls on my hips as they clung to me resting their heads on my shoulder. I wasn't going to step inside unless I was asked to. Michonne would have to ask me to come in.

I could see her standing at an angle that made her visible to me. She had her arms crossed. She was like I imagined very pregnant and not happy.

"What are you doing here Rick?"

"What are you doing Michonne with this man around my kids?" I wouldn't rest unless I knew who the fuck he was.

"How did you find me?"

"As long as you have my girls you will be found."

"Are y'all really going to reconcile like this?" Tyrese looked from Michonne who was inside and me standing outside the door.

"Who the fuck is this, Michonne?"

"My brother."

"Figuratively or literally?"

"This dude got jokes." Tyrese laughed.

"Do I speak figuratively?"

"When you called me a Punk Bastard, I was hoping so."

"Damn! Not punk bastard?" Tyrese was beyond ecstatic, "Dude, she may be my sis but don't let that shit slide. Nah, don't let that shit slide."

Michonne was more visibly annoyed, "Tyrese don't you have some where to be? Get your bags over there and get going before this new living arrangement changes her mind."

We stood there a good minute staring at each other, unmoving.

"What do you want me to do, apologize?" Michonne asked.

"After I set some ground rules." Rick rested more weight on one leg than the other.

"You set some ground rules?"

"Don't ever take my kids away from me. Don't ever call me out of my name, Michonne." As soon as I said it I felt like I had to explain my gruffness. "I am a man who loves you. I would never intentionally hurt you but for you to say crazy shit... You only have one time to do it and you used it up." I visibly swallowed hard after I said that. This woman could literally make rethink name calling but I didn't want to go down that avenue of dysfunction, I wanted to nip it in the bud then and there. "It wasn't fair when you know all that I was up against. My choice would have always been you. The way we came together wasn't right and you had to deal with a lot-we had to deal with a lot of shit just to get to the point where we are now. I want this thing between us to work Michonne. I want us to work and the only thing that I am asking is to never take my babies away from me or disrespect me...That is all I am asking."

"I'm sorry, baby." Michonne no longer had her hands across her chest. She was stepping toward me.

Judith and Abigail stopped Michonne in her tracks. I was still holding them.

"My daddy, No." Judith held on tighter with one hand trying to halt Michonne.

"No. My daddy." Abigail did the same exact thing.

"Mommy can't get no sugar from Daddy?"

"No. Bad Mommy."

My ears perked up when I heard sugar. Michonne and I were making up and I didn't have to grovel? Was it really going to be that easy? I guess we weren't playing games any more and it felt good.

There is also something about Michonne calling me baby that makes me putty in her hands. She doesn't know it and I won't ever reveal that to her because I don't want her to ever stop.

The girls allowed Michonne to get close enough to kiss their cheek giving her close proximity to me where she was able to quickly kiss me. When our lips connected the intense feeling I felt for her was almost overwhelming. I missed Michonne.

"I'm sorry too." I told her earnestly as I tried to kiss her again.

Our girls moved us apart.

"What?" Tyrese was shocked. "Where's the drama in all that?" He had his bags in hand. I could tell he was prolonging his exit from the premises and I was hoping he was being a good brother who was looking out for the well being of his sister.

"Drama is your life Tyrese." Michonne remarked and then she looked at me as if she was talking to me, "Mama always said a man who speaks plain gets what he wants."

Tyrese made haste to leave instead of continuing to be privy to our drama, "I am going to have to try this shit out with the other living arrangement before I go to the new living arrangement." Tyrese remarked. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Who Carol?" Michonne asked her brother.

"Hell yeah. I rather be with her and now that I can hear what plain talk sounds like, I am going to test my luck."

"Girls, go give your Uncle Tyrese a hug." Michonne chuckled.

The girls were willing to get down and ran to their Uncle and embraced his legs while I held Michonnes face in my hands and she held mine in hers as we kissed in the doorway with her pulling me inside. I couldn't help but shed happy tears to have this woman who I loved back in my life. I loved Michonne in all her pregnant glory.

Abigail and Judith wouldn't let me out of their sight now that I was back. I had them help me move my things into the apartment by giving them a t-shirt or gym shoes to carry. I made note to cancel the room I had with the kitchenette.

The gift I bought for the girls kept them preoccupied and the one for Michonne had her in tears. I got on my knees after all, and asked her if she would be my wife. I knew there was going to be some time before we would be able to take the plunge together but I wanted to show her where I wanted to be in the end. She nodded and cried.

"I am only doing this with you Michonne. This...between us, is everything to me. I will do all that I can and within my means to protect this."

By night fall the girls were in the bed with us fighting sleep. Clinging to me. Abigail holding on to my ear and Judith holding on to my chin. Both snuggle on either side of me.

I didn't mind them sleeping with us and Michonne didn't either the first two nights. The third night Michonne had put her foot down because she didn't want to start any habits that would be hard to break. Once in a while was one thing but an every night, Michonne wasn't having it. I was just so glad to have my girls and not have to worry that I would soon have to rush off to take care of Lori. I was home. It was a new feeling and it felt good. I was going to cherish every single moment.

XXXX

I still had to deal with Lori. The divorce wasn't going to be an easy one and I didn't expect it would. Her mother and father hired someone to take care of her when the cancer was no longer in remission.

"Grandpa, and Grandma was surprised you lasted as long as you did Dad?" Carl half chuckled.

"Is that so?"

"First hand dealing with mom and cancer they say you had to have had the patience of Job. They lasted a few months and jumped ship. Mom can be downright nasty but I know it is because she is afraid. With them gone it left me and Gramps didn't like that one bit so he hired a live in nurse."

"Has it gotten that bad?"

"She's losing weight again. Losing her hair too. The doctor says they found another tumor and this one is cancerous. They have given Mom eight months."

I had tears in my eyes hearing the news. Hearing the overwhelming news made my heart heavy and embarrassingly relieved that I didn't have to be in the middle of the chaos with all the weight bearing down on me and me alone. The conflicting emotions had my chest tight.

"They have given your Mom 6 months that one time and it has been 4 years. She will make it through this son." I tried to be optimistic.

"I don't know Dad. She says she is tired. Tired of fighting to live and she says with you gone, she has nothing to live for."

"Is that so?"

"She's been laying it on real thick, the only thing she forgets _we_ know her. Don't worry Dad, the people taking care of her are doing a great job."

"Good to hear son."

I was glad for the change of subject when Carl mentioned going to college near Atlanta. I was happy to hear he had a very well thought out plan for his life since he was going to be graduating early. It was also good to know that there were no hard feelings regarding my decision to leave his mother and the home that we lived in as a family.

"I was thinking I would come for the weekend. I would like to meet Abigail and Judith. I would like to meet Michonne."

I was instantly choked up. "We would really like that Carl."

"I love you Dad."

"I love you son."

XXXX

I began teaching at the academy. The pay was good. The hours were great. Coming home to Michonne and my babies were beyond words to describe how incredibly fortunate I felt when I would walk through the door to be greeted with happy faces and kisses.

I still had to scold Michonne when I noticed she was out of the bed more than she should be and she tried to be sneaky about it the farther along she was in her pregnancy.

I didn't mind coming home on my hour lunch breaks and sometimes in between classes to catch Michonne in the act.

"You're more concerned about the Big Kat in the refrigerator than our unborn baby is what you are really telling me, 'Chonne."

"You don't understand Rick. I shared the one on the night stand with Abby and Jude and I needed to have a whole one to myself for the baby to be satisfied. I had to go just 15 steps to the refrig and back."

"What did the doctor say?"

"You were there." Michonne was sitting up in the bed looking like a defiant child with her arms crossed pouting.

"Yes. But what did he say because I can't be the only one that was listening." I sat at the foot of the bed with a disapproving look on my face.

"He said no rough sex."

"I ain't talking about no sex Michonne." I was exasperated.

"Stay off my feet unless I am going to the bathroom. No prolong standing or moving about if it can be helped in the later stages." Michonne finally relented.

"Where are you now. What stage are you now?"

"Due any day stage."

"I am in between classes and I am at your beckon call. I'm doing everything to make sure you are healthy enough to deliver this baby. I can't have anything happen to you nor this baby if it is within my power. Do we have an understanding pregnant lady? If we don't I am going to strap you down. I know you would prefer it with my body but actual straps."

"Our last baby."

"Our last baby."

Boy would I ever regret repeating those words after Michonne. Oh my GOD!

"How the hell did I jinx you? Don't you think we jinxed us?"

"I just want you to leave me alone. Not leave the house or nothing like that since you can't figure out if I speak literally or figuratively. I just need you to give me 10 minutes to just be accepting of this damn Karma for falling in love with you. Karma. Karma. Karma. I have no idea what incense to burn for this shit."

"You said that..."

"The doctor said it was 99%. I don't like being so lucky with you Rick."

"This coming from the just put the tip in woman?"

"You are going to make an appointment to get a vasectomy. I am not going to let you play with this pussy with that fire squad you got. Shooting my eggs down like it's shooting practice. Finger and tongue only. I think that is the only way until I can resolve this shit in my mind."

"What did the doctor say health wise for you Michonne?"

"I have a new doctor and he says that I should be fine as long as I listen and stay off my feet."

"What are the chances they are giving you that you and the baby will be healthy?"

"This new doctor says that I have a 80% chance of another successful pregnancy if I listen. He emphasized listen. He had my ears perked when he said I was six fucking weeks pregnant."

I sat at the kitchen table. I was overwhelmed with concern as I held our two month old son Andre, while Abigail and Judith fought over their dolls that were positioned on the couch.

"Let me know the next appointment Michonne. I want to be there so I can hear for myself. You have selective hearing and I know you tuned out when he said you were pregnant."

Four weeks later we were at the doctors office together. They were doing an ultrasound and we could hear the heart beat. The doctor had a look of concern as he kept scanning a certain spot in Michonne's uterus. The nurse that was in the room had a perplexed look as well.

I was holding Michonnes hand as we braced ourselves for the news.

"Have you two heard of, "Superfetation?"

We ended up buying a home large enough to support our growing family. I was scheduled by Michonne to have a vasectomy. From my understanding about tubal ligation is that a clip could have slipped or the tube could have just rejoined...rare but happens. Michonne swears that it was our Karma.

Michonne only reported to work long enough to file FMLA again and with the company very good health benefits and balance work and life policy, Michonne knew how to work the system very well and worked the system she did.

We have been married going on twenty years now. We have a total of six kids together and two grand kids. Carl has been married to his high school sweet heart Enid for almost 8 years. Lori died five years ago. I sometimes imagined what my life would have been like if I had still been married to Lori. I would have had 15 more years with her and that life...She did get remarried though. Nice guy who was also a cancer survivor.

Lori didn't have any additional children. She was a good grandmother and I was the running joke to her because Michonne kept popping out kids. Carl told me. The sixth kid was a surprise to both of us because I had a vasectomy...I don't even want to talk about that shit and Michonne will gloss over it because it makes her get riled up with emotions.

All of our kids our out of the house in some various state of adulthood whether graduating college or finding ways to remain a professional college student. They are self sufficient and that is how Michonne and I raised them.

Michonne is my soul-mate. I have never told her this but she is. In all this time my love and devotion to her has never waivered. I had my colon checked and Michonne had her breast checked. We were relieved with the negative results. Michonne said she thinks Karma has finished with us and I agreed. No sooner we were in agreement getting frisky on the couch, we had a knock at the door. Enid kicked Carl out and he needed a place to stay, him and his dog.

THE END


End file.
